food, pets, teeth

I did wind up staying home on Friday night, furiously cursing my stomach for keeping me indoors while everyone else went out to play. Saturday, though, I felt much better and me and my entourage (I like using the word \”entourage\” or \”posse\” better than \”preexisting social dynamic I have bulldozed my way into\”) went to Xuanwu, the lake in town. It was a gorgeous day, and a surprisingly gorgeous lake. It was really nice to be outside and able to stretch out my arms and spin around without knocking anyone over. There were plenty of people out there walking their dogs, flying their kites, juggling, and making out, but there wasn\’t a throbbing mass of people surrounding you at all times. There were some hiking trails, tea houses, and what looked like the beginnings of several carnival rides, and a driving range where you pay 45 yuan to hit golf balls into the lake. Which we did, enthusiastically. We were also a lot better at it than you might have thought, although we noticed problems in our follow through form upon studying the photographs. [Which I meant to post here, except it looks like I can\'t add images to my blog via this particular channel. Go check my flickr page.]

Then we came home and tried to cook out. The night before Chris had marinated chicken breasts, and we had veggies and garlic for kebabs, corn on the cob, and brats – sort of a \”wait, aren\’t I supposed to be in China?\” meal, you know? Unfortunately, the charcoal we had was not self-lighting. This led to the boys going on a lengthy scavenger hunt across the city in search of lighter fluid while the ladies stayed home eating peanut butter sandwiches. The males returned without lighter fluid, but with a wicker plant stand they intended to set on fire and dump the charcoal on in an attempt to light it. So they went up to the roof to do that, while we stayed in and decided against betting on their success since we both were pretty sure of the outcome already.

Anyway, Chris wound up running back to the supermarket to get a different brand of charcoal and a disposable grill kit, just in case, and we eventually got the food cooked (I\’m using \”we\” in the sense that I sat and politely observed while everyone else worked, although in my defense it wasn\’t my innate laziness this time, just my complete lack of knowledge when it comes to grilling). And we ate and were very happy. We also did NOT burn down the building.
[You know, I had a picture of this, too. DAMN it, China.]

Um, other interesting things that happened to other people this weekend: a girl we\’re going to call Badass until I get her permission to talk about her openly on the internet got a hamster. Its name is Patrick and I get to be his aunt. I never much cared for hamsters, honestly. But then I found out that the Chinese word for hamster translates as \”pearl bear,\” and when I started thinking about Patrick as a pearl bear, I decided that I love hamsters. He\’s a damned cute little ball of fluff, too. He took a little nap in my hands and ate some bread and made a little poo, and if someone is comfortable sleeping, eating, and shitting around me, I him as my friend. [For pictures of said pearl bear, well, you know what to do.] The way that I reacted to having something small and fluffy in my hands made me think that I should get a pet. I know, I know, everyone of you who knows me is thinking, \”here we go again…\” since the last time I said that, I got into this snowball effect that ended in a tarantula, two snakes, two rats, and two cats, each of which (minus the Brain, rest her soul) had to be relocated. I mean, that was a hard lesson in responsibility right there – people my age and as rootless as I am SHOULD NOT GET PETS, and I still feel soul-suckingly guilty for acquiring so many animals that in the end I was unable to care for.

But come on, a fish? I could have a fish! I adored my fish in college, and its passing was hard on me, but didn\’t require a three week mourning period. I\’m afraid of getting something mammalian that I wind up projecting all of my personality hang ups and overemotional tendencies onto, only to have it die and feel like a piece of my soul went along with it. Hamsters, well, haven\’t we all had a bad hamster experience? Mine involved an escape, a cat, and a long, drawn out death in my hands (his name was Squeaky and I loved him). And I can\’t have a dog or a cat, period. Yes, I pass scores of adorable, needy, big-eyed, totally lovable puppies and kittens on a quasi daily basis who desperately need the good home that I alone can provide for them, but NO DOGS OR CATS. I was incredibly lucky to find temporary housing for Ipso and Parker in the US. The chances of me finding a satisfactory Chinese home for someone are infinitely tiny.

I am sort of thinking finches, though. I\’ve never had much of an interest in pet birds, other than the occasional passing fantasy of owning an African grey who would talk to me when I was lonely and frighten away unwanted guests and generally be my best friend. I guess the only thing that really interests me about birds is the fact that they can fly, and it seems like having birds in cages means depressed pets and a bored owner. But during the ludicrously long shower I just took, I got to thinking that it might be very pleasant to have a little singing friend. This is a very loud place – there\’s construction happening everywhere practically twenty-four hours a day, and the traffic is nonstop and honky, so a bird friend wouldn\’t make any difference in the overall noise level – it would just be a nice, welcome home noise. And I could get it a pretty little cage and a lovely hand painted ceramic food pot and bring it to the park with me on nice days. It would also be a very Chinese pet – I see people wandering around with their bird cages all the time.
[Yes, I do have pictures of this as well.]

Furthermore, I think it might be extremely good for my psychology right now. First of all, I really like having something to take care of, and I\’m no good with plants. That might make me feel a little more grounded here, especially since I feel so dependent and like I need taking care of at this point in my life. I don\’t know, I\’ll think about it. Fish or finch, though, I promise. No cats or pandas or pigs.

Back to hamsters: this is the best internet find I\’ve been pointed to in a long time. It\’s hamster fan fiction. Guys, I thought snake owners were weird. Apparently, they have absolutely nothing on these hamster freaks. [Hey, guess what. It\'s not letting me put in links either. Here\'s the URL: www.hamsterific.com - yes, it is misspelled. Go to the forums, and then to Happily Ever Hamster for the good stuff] Let me transcribe a poem for you:

Hammy Heaven.~
For those of you who have lost a loved hammy.
You lost a hammy that you loved,
But the truth is they arent really lost,
They are in hammy heaven,
Watching oer you like you did them,
So keep your head up high and look to the sky,
Where your hammy watches as your life goes by.

If you\’re bored at work, seriously, cruise through some of this – the fiction ranges from adorable to pricelessly bad.

The other big drama this weekend involved Badass\’s boyfriend, who I shall call the Christ until further notice. He will be called the Christ because he\’s like that kid in the Ursula K. Le Guin story \”The Ones Who Walked Away from Omelas\” who experienced all the suffering for the town so everyone else could be happy (we all had to read that at some point, right?). It\’s like he goes through all of the worst case scenarios so the rest of us don\’t have to. I guess only two bad things have happened to him, but one of them was getting hit by a bus on his bike, and the other was emergency dental surgery in China. Do you see my point here? Anyway, a crown broke off while he was eating dinner, and he had to go to see a dentist. He had a translator and a girlfriend there to support him, but when he told the story, all I could think was, \”thank god this didn\’t happen to me.\” It sounded like a nice enough dental clinic – but the language was different. I was freaked out enough in a US dentist chair, with people telling me exactly what was going on, reassuring me, and reminding me to take deep breaths. The Christ just saw terrifying equipment being aimed at his mouth, and all he could do was periodically shriek for his translator, who was having some work done next door. Badass described how horrible it was sitting in the waiting room and hearing the Christ scream, \”NEEDLES! ONE NEEDLE ONE PERSON! TELL THEM! TELL THEM!\” She said every time he would holler, everyone in the waiting room would jump and get really quiet. Poor guy.

But they did a nice job repairing it, and he did live to tell the tale. The lesson here is that Chinese dentistry is survivable. Apparently, so is getting hit by a bus and tossed several feet in the air… I just kind of hope that everyone in that clinic now thinks that NEEDLES! is an American curse word.

Ok, I am now going to respond to all of the comments you sweet people have left. Thank you so much for reading this – it actually means quite a lot to me, now that I\’m here on the other side of the looking glass. You have no idea how good support feels from familiar sources and I can use as much as you can dish out.

~ by Anne on November 12, 2007.